Nothing more embarrassing than accidentally using a big word wrong because now I’m simultaneously both stupid and pretentious, the worst combination of all time
I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you’ve ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone’s day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can’t help but root for her to improve.
Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.
If you got enough money to live happily and comfortably for the rest of your life, but everyone who saw you immediately knew what fandom you are in and understood what that means, would you take it?
the epidemic of grown adults playing tiktoks at full volume in public is rampant why are you acting like a 7 year old with their first ipad you have a mortgage
one guy was facetiming his sister, she was in Texas for work and I know this because they were yell-talking at each other. This went on for a few minutes so I got up, walked over and sat down in the chair next to him an asked if she was staying hygrated as I heard Texas can get really hot in the summer and that it looked like she has a bit of a sun burn.
The two of them were flabergasted. And the guy said “what are you doing???”
So I was like. “….well you included me in this call and I’m just worried about your sister.”
He goes “Im having a PRIVATE conversation!”
So I goes “If it was private then how the hell do i know youre talking to your sister who is in texas on a business trip?”
Ultimately im not sure he really got the point but he lowered the volume because now he’s worried about creeps like me listening to his conversations but at least he’s behaving now even if he doesnt understand why
You’re a hero, I hope you know that.
I literally did this to someone. She was listening to very very descriptive erotica on the beach at max volume. So I walked over, sat down next to her, and asked her to catch me up on the plot I’d missed. When she asked what the hell I was doing I said “oh I thought this was like a book club thing? Since you’re playing it at full volume on a crowded beach?” She suddenly remembered she did in fact bring headphones and was willing to use them. She kept looking at me like I was a lunatic for the rest of the time she was there but it was probably the funniest thing I’d ever done
I know I have close to zero Tumblr fame, which I normally appreciate, but I would love it if this made it into the world and got fully backed. You can even pledge to get the digital content and send a real copy to a school in Africa or to a HBCU or community library of your choosing!
Things I wish I had read in “beginner” sewing tutorials/people had told me before I started getting into sewing
You have to hem *everything* eventually. Hemming isn’t optional. (If you don’t hem your cloth, it will start to fray. There are exceptions to this, like felt, but most cloth will.)
The type of cloth you choose for your project matters very much. Your clothing won’t “fall right” if it’s not the kind of stretchy/heavy/stiff as the one the tutorial assumes you will use.
Some types of cloth are very chill about fraying, some are very much not. Linen doesn’t really give a fuck as long as you don’t, like, throw it into the washing machine unhemmed (see below), whereas brocade yearns for entropy so, so much.
On that note: if you get new cloth: 1. hem its borders (or use a ripple stitch) 2. throw it in the washing machine on the setting that you plan to wash it going forward 3. iron it. You’ll regret it, if you don’t do it. If you don’t hem, it’ll thread. If you don’t wash beforehand, the finished piece might warp in the first wash. If you don’t iron it, it won’t be nice and flat and all of your measuring and sewing will be off.
Sewing’s first virtue is diligence, followed closely by patience. Measure three times before cutting. Check the symmetry every once in a while. If you can’t concentrate anymore, stop. Yes, even if you’re almost done.
The order in which you sew your garment’s parts matters very much. Stick to the plan, but think ahead.
You’ll probably be fine if you sew something on wrong - you can undo it with a seam ripper (get a seam ripper, they’re cheap!)
You can use chalk to draw and write on the cloth.
Pick something made out of rectangles for your first project.
I recommend making something out of linen as a beginner project. It’s nearly indestructible, barely threads and folds very neatly.
Collars are going to suck.
The sewing machine can’t hurt you (probably). There is a guard for a reason and while the needle is very scary at first, if you do it right, your hands will be away from it at least 5 cm at any given time. Also the spoils of learning machine sewing are not to be underestimated. You will be SO fast.
I believe that’s all - feel free to add unto it.
Things I have learned as an occasional sewer:
Get sharp scissors. They don’t need to be expensive, but your fabric scissors should NOT be the ones you cut plastic ties with. Eventually, if you sew enough, you will hear the siren song of better scissors. You don’t have to listen.
Thread nippers are so helpful - they spring open so you don’t need to expend the hand effort to open the scissors. You don’t need them, but they are great for when you need to trim those threads.
Get more bobbins. Fill those bobbins. It sucks to be on a seam and run out of thread in your bobbin. Make sure you get the right bobbin for your machine.
Fabric stores have sales. You can usually get notions (thread, zippers, buttons, etc) much cheaper if you shop sales. Cheaper option? You can find A LOT of notions at garage sales and charity shops.
Patterns are usually marked on skill level. Find things at your level. Very easy usually has minimal fuss.
You can experiment with cheap fabrics. You can find fabrics at consignment shops, garage sales, etc. Also, if you meet someone who sews and mention you are learning, you will probably get given something from their stash. I’m happy to give you something from mine.
You don’t need 846 stitches on your machine. BUT don’t buy a super cheap brand-new one. You can probably find a good one used for that same super cheap price. A quick service and you’ve got a machine that will last you until you somehow acquire another machine.
Velvet and chiffon are the devil. Gorgeous, amazing, delicious demons from hell. Wait until you have money to burn on wasted fabric and the patience of a saint before tackling these two.
Zippers piss everyone off. It is known.
Sleeves can be cranky.
If it’s a commercially made pattern, check what other folks have done to resolve issues. Sometimes there is a known missed mark or fold line.
Stretch fabrics aren’t what I would start anyone off with. They wiggle and move like a sugared up toddler.
You can iron your patterns.
Don’t buy your pattern based on your commercial clothing size. Take your measurements and go from there. Patterns live in a different size world. And different pattern-makers have different sizes, and sometimes that varies by age of the pattern.
You will occasionally try to sew something beyond your skill level. THAT’s OK. Just give yourself time, and listen to those who have gone before you. And don’t try to make a period-appropriate gown the day before your event unless you’ve done it before. Or you are doing a toga.
I forgot something.
Buy extra needles for your machine. It’s not uncommon to break a needle and it sucks if you are mid-project at midnight. They are generally inexpensive and they won’t go bad. Buy them. Buy multiple packs.
Had a coworker tell me they hadn’t texted once because of the time. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
I stared at them through the dawning realization that they lived in a world where that was remotely possible. “My phone is on do not disturb if I’m sleeping. Why would I let random texts wake me up? My sleep is important.”
Equally baffled they replied, “What if someone at work needs you?”
“I am not a manager. No one at work will ever need me badly enough to interrupt my sleep. If I’m not working then there’s no reason to be calling me.”
“Not even if you need to cover?”
I laughed, “I don’t need to cover. They could ask me to cover but good luck getting ahold of me if I’m sleeping.”
They looked distressed at this idea.
To console them I added, “I have important people like my mom and my wife set to override. If they call they get through no matter what.”
There was a small pause before they asked, “You can do that…?”
So friendly reminder. Become unreachable. Work does not need you that badly. Sleep.
